Love May be the answer, but...
“Love may be the answer, but, while you're waiting for the answer Sex raises... an eternal dilemma".
Do you sleep with a new man on the first night or hold off? What are the standards to go by? If you ‘get down to business’ too soon, will you automatically annihilate your chances for long-term love? Is every man stuck on the idea that, if you hop into bed with him too soon, they you must have done this with loads of other men as well —or is that old-fashioned nonsense in our contemporary dating scene?
While a whole lot of thinking goes into the how, why, and when…, the bottom line is there there’s no answer, no timetable, no right or a wrong length of time to wait. Sex is an experience you create together, not something that can be converted to a number or a calculation, or held out like a carrot for the horse. The “right” answer will inevitably change with each partner and situation.
Ideally, it's best to wait until you feel like you've made an emotional connection and build a mutual base of trust and respect which - apart from those rare ‘spiritual affinities’ described by Kahlil Gibran, may really take some time.
Here is the catch,“the feminine energy grows with connection and intimacy”. This is often why women feel a sense of closeness with sex, and often have deeper feelings for a man afterwards. But the masculine energy doesn't work this way. “The masculine energy seeks CHALLENGE and a feeling of "emptiness" and "freedom”. More often than not, men are driven by something that has nothing to do with intimacy and connection. And most men will have no idea of how upsetting to a woman it can be when they f@#k her and leave, could be years later and her heart still bleeds at the old memory.
But hey, let’s face it, most men are not going to"see your worth" just because you've slept with him. You live and learn. As a smart woman, it will save you some heartache to ascertain - before you decide to sleep with a new guy - whether it is YOU he is interested in or in SEX. You don’t know the answer? don’t have sex. If you think you know the answer, have sex, and if he falls off the face of the earth, you made a mistake. You are human after all. And if you can’t handle the emotional consequences of making that mistake, you’d better not sleep with anyone until they put a ring on your finger.
But then - to close this in Woody Allen’s style as it began - get this down: "To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness".
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